flying solo

In certain church subcultures, strength is derived from emphasis on marriages and family. That strength is made more emphatic and rigid when (the community’s) youth are assumed to be similarly on a trajectory towards (healthy) marriages. I celebrate that, but at the risk of propping up my own way of being, I want to point to a risk that exists in that context to demonize singleness. I’ll do that with a few propositions, which may have holes.

  • Growing up and getting married are two related but very different things
  • Calling singleness “prolonged” makes it sound like an illness
  • The virtues of ambition, maturity, and commitment can be demonstrated on their own terms, without assuming wedding plans
  • I don’t have to be rich, climb corporate ladders, fix cars, or grow a beard, or get married
  • Pauline ambivalence about marriage as a distraction from “service through singleness” demands more than an afterthought
  • childbearing is (merely) one kind of sustainability (among many) designated by “fruitful multiplication

Poke or patch the holes as needed, or just or observe what is. Cheers!


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